Father Time

Father time, you toy with us.
 Just because we are smaller and weaker than your godliness doesn't give you the right.
you slow time down when we want it to speed up. you speed it up when we prefer to live in this moment forever.
You steal time from those who deserve it and give it to the ones who don't.
They steal, kill, lie ...and.... yet you reward them.
But what about that young kid who died on that river that hot summer day.
You fiene, you call yourself a father, are we suppose to look up to you, worship at your feet
 your no father!

And neither am I.....not anymore.
 My son was pushed in the river and had drown within seconds.
 His time and future was taken  and the one to blame for his death is walking free, with all the time in the world.
What evil is this!!??!! If your so godly and powerful turn back time and give me my son back.........
YOU HEAR ME!....
(SILENCE.)

If i could smoke a cigarette with anyone......

 I take the cigarette from her nicely manicured hands and  start looking for a lighter. Lady gaga pulls out her lighter and says,"here kid smoke up." She then gives a smile,  We sit down on her  red velvet love seats in her grand library.  In her seat she looks mysterious  and her outfit just adds to that. She's wearing unbelievable red shoes with printed  pages  and words across the sides., remarkably it matches her black hat that is t big for words. He hair is  long and black and  shimmers a blue tint.
She lights her cigarette while i look upon everything in awe, the  ceiling which is painted with her in fur raising her hand to the sky, her thousands of books with the most peculiar names. The books range from spirituality to cooking to music history to  fashion.
"the answer is yes." She interrupted me. Before i can ask what she meant she said," your looking at the books, your wondering if i read them all...the answer is yes, some i read more than once."
I crack a smile and mutter one word...." cool."
She then breaks the silence by  asking me about my life and my dreams in life.
 I briefly skim the topic of my adoption, my parents, school and work. It just seems so dull to bring up in  moment like this. But I tell her my dreams.
"Well I like to be behind the stage...you know where the magic is, Stage crew. I hope to someday  help out  in broadway or a very important show."

"You have experience?"
"yeah i had four years of it, in high school, i know nothing major but its something. Plus i love the spirit the stage gives off and the chaos that goes on behind the scenes."
"i can relate." She flicks her cigarette in the  crystal ashtray  in the shape of a kiss.
Next thing you know it Im talking about my art work. I say I don't consider myself a painter but I paint...fairly good. I flick my cigarette in her same ashtray. This is so cool!

"What do you like to express in you art work?"

By now Im so comfortable around her I don't hold back. I  inhale my cigarette and breathe out on words.
"Life...I like to express lifes obstacles, being able to show one self and being true to love. Thats why I'm  such a big fan. You let others out ther know its okay to be who you are. And being weird or different isn't always bad.  I respect you  for being the one to finally stand out. Like you, I refuse to be another brick in the wall. We have a voice and it needs to be heard." After I say this I semi freak out. I couldn't believe I just used "we"   referring to me and Gaga in the same sentence.

"wow.." She really takes it all in and consider things around in her head. "Thank you for being so motivated. Its funny how you bring up stage crew becuase my manager took her leave and we are open one spot..." She pokes her lips out to me and I smile."Would you be interested in something like that.... and do you think you could handle it?"

"yes! I would love that." I almost didn't get the words out but I manage to squeeze them out.
"The tours in two months, theres alot to do we should get started. She inhales. " Of course you will get paid." at the snap of her fingers  three butlers came in with a brief case. They opened it at the same time and i swear  at the sight of the money my heart drop kicked itself and julted alive twice. I yelled yes and she giggled at my enthusiasm .
 "So..."she put out her ciggerette  and stood up."  you mentioned you can paint...I'm working on this peice and I need help. I cant seem to get the angle right....or shading. Would you so kinldy mind?"
I take one final drag of my cig and I put it out and jaulted up,"take me to the artwork."

Text Messages of a Closet Case

-Hey, wcd?

-Me too.... ENTERTAIN ME!

-boooo! lets play the random pic game:)

-nice room.

-you might as well get naked hahah
-XD

-nice;)

- I cant do this... its not who i am sorry
-Im not gay...

HOUR LATER
-Hey wcd doing....

We

 In our vamp mobile we ride. Blasting our noise across the city,we ride. Feeling the wind pass our ears, laughter escaping our lungs and traveling through or fangs.  I screech, then they screech. This is our cry, sirens of the car, that’s what we are. We ride. We Sings with our souls and people cant help but stare. They looked disgusted but  really they envy us. They desire to be this free, to feel this strong.  They hate what they don’t understand but they love the ungainable.  I can read there minds so I know this for a fact. The want to be where I am.  We ride. Josh Changes the tunes and we go into a spazzem. We know this song, we ride.  The rhythm  sways the car and makes us want to move.  Ahead we see our feeding place, Checkers.  We pull around to the drive through and make our orders.  In seconds our food is  here.  We let out our final screech and dig our fangs into our meal. We do not ride,instead we feed. We are filled  and feel even better than how we were earlier.Then we ride screeching and blasting our noise.

Comatosed

I awake with a yawn with my eyes still closed. I roll out of my bed and go to turn the light on.  Not finding the switch or walls I open my eyes and everything is dark. I start to think I have gone blind. I look down and see my Light skinned feet with my hairy man legs, wearing basketball shorts that I never wear out attached to my torso. I’m not blind if I can see myself but why can’t I see anything else? I hear something faint… its getting louder…”hello? Whose there?” I strain to hear the sound and it sounds like my mother… but she’s sad, why is she sad? Through choked sobs I hear her say I love you then she fades away, everything is quiet and I decide to walk around this space to see if theirs a way out… how did I end up here?  The sound comes back, but this times its some one different. It’s impossible to walk closer to the sound because it’s as if the sound comes from the sky.  Is this a room? Or am I staring at the black sky that meets with the black floor forever and ever. This place is endless but I focus on the voice.  Again its sad and I know at once that it is my dearest friend Anna. “It wasn’t suppose to happen like this, we were suppose to move in together… you were suppose to be Tio…..” it fades off and she is gone. I run after her yelling ”Anna, come back, I’m still here. Wait, I’m here.”

I fall to my knees out of breath. Why did she say it wasn’t suppose to happen like that? What did she mean I was SUPPOSE to be Tio? Why can’t I still be tio…? Am I dead?” A third voice appears and I automatically know who it is, Angelica.  She doesn’t speak but just sobs. She soon pulls it together, “Really Jose it had to be you. I love you don’t forget that. Here take this.” She disappears just like everyone else.  I had open my hand and seen a picture of us,  Angelica and myself. I don’t know how it was possible but where ever she was had connected with me for a bit. I stare at the picture and cry. I’m dead.  and some how I’m stuck here in this …. hell. I wouldn’t say its hell but more of a limbo, a dark nothingness. As soon as I am aware of this a light is shown shining ahead. I look up and the light comes towards me.  I  try to get up but I can’t. A seat belt that appeared on my body has stopped me. I’m in the back seat of a car. “How did I get here?” I unfasten my belt and move forward to see whose in control of this car.  I look over and see Anna driving, she’s so happy. Not at all like I heard her a few minutes ago. Seeing her makes a change in me, its good to see her face. I smile and start to speak but am cut off by the directions of her eyes. She looks at me but she isn’t looking at me…she’s looking through me. I turn over to see whose behind me, sitting in the passenger seat. Its me! . I jump back to my seat, unaware and confused about this whole mess. Why am I here and there….?  And why cant they see me? I listen to there/our  conversation and its funny and carefree. They have no idea that I’m eavesdropping.

I cant help to think that this all seems familiar ….  A sense of déjà-vu. I look out the window and see a pizza shop, New City Pizza. I remember the time not to long ago when  we passed that shop and a cat had ran out in front of the car.  In fact this is the farthest I can  think back. Just at that moment The car jerked to a stop. Since I am invisible or non existing in this reality you figured that hitting my head on the car seats didn’t hurt but it does.  “Oh my god, did you see that cat.” Anna screams.  My other self laughs and calls her stupid,” Stop being stupid and drive.”  The scene flashes and I’m now standing outside New City Pizza, looking at a  Black Honda  speeding down the block. I look over to the direction its going in and I see a volkswagon stopping to miss the a cat. I look in the car and see Anna and myself laughing. They have no idea that the speeding car is headed towards them. I Have to warn them. ”Stop being stupid and drive.” I hear myself say. I start running to warn them, but its to late the speeding car has crashed into them and impacted my the passenger side. The room goes black and I am left in the dark. ”I’m dead.” Astonished by what just happen I begin to cry. I look up to see a light shiny down on me.” Oh what now!?”  And I see a door. Not just a door but the door from my childhood. The door had my name in blue letters, with mickey mouse standing above them. There’s pictures I drew when I was 5 and 6 on the door. And I have a urge to walk through it. I don’t know where it leads to but I need to go through it, I have to. As i reach out to touch the knob I here a man yelling. My chest begins to have a slight pain. “no dont die on me, Clear!” Scared I walk away from the door and as i do t vanishes. Getting smaller and smaller as the darkness around me alters.

 I awake again but this time with a jerk. My chest is on fire. I look around to see the nothingness i was trapped in but i see no blackness, instead Im in a room with a light, with a mom, friends and heroes. I am seen and heard and most importantly loved.